embrace positivity

      For the longest time, I had doubt in mind, specifically self-doubt. I was unsure of myself and that caused me to question myself multiple times, like am I good enough and could I achieve little to big accomplishments! Like I said before in previous posts, overcoming obstacles like low self-esteem and low confidence didn't come overnight. Overcoming these obstacles took years to manage and I had to do a lot of inner healing and reflecting within myself and thru and to God. Don't get me wrong, from time to time, I still have doubt but now I can handle or manage it better than before.     You may ask yourself why I'm telling you all of this? The answer is simple, because having doubt is normal but don't let doubt consume your life and then life passes you by because you are afraid of the next step or anything that will prevent you accomplishing what you set out to accomplish. The phrase Denzel Washington said in the Equalizer is spot on. He said doubt kills and that

 As all of us know is that Thanksgiving was last week in the United States. As I gathered around my family for prayer at my grandmother's house, I was reflecting on my grandfather not being there and of course I was sad but, then I was also reflecting on how blessed I am and how my family is blessed.   One of the many missions that my grandfather was passionate about was helping the less fortunate. My grandfather always told me to give (monetary) to the less fortunate and don't worry what they do with the money, that's not our business, as long as we give. So, I'm THANKFUL that he instilled that in me in his later years when he was still alive. I'm THANKFUL for my dad's and mom's side of the family even though we bicker and fight but at the end of the day, we are STILL FAMILY.  I'm THANKFUL that God wakes me up every morning even though I don't deserve it since I'm a FILTHY MOTHERFUCKER!! On a personal level, I'm THANKFUL for my disability, t

 A month ago, my family celebrated my mother's birthday and retirement for three days. My mom's birthday is October 1st and she retired from being an educator last summer. We would've celebrated last year but sad to say, my grandfather passed away and for a few months then, we were in mourning so that wouldn't be the right time to celebrate.      My mother is my mother, she's strict but fair. Sometimes I didn't agree what she did, but I love her so much!   She taught in Prospect Elementary School in East Cleveland, Ohio for many years. I believe she taught all of the grades. Then an opportunity opened up at Cleveland School of the Arts, the lower campus as an assistant principal. She stayed in that position for a few years and then another opportunity opened up and she became principal at the same school. What my mother taught me was HAVE FAITH, STAY THE COURSE, WORK HARD and NEVER GIVE UP. Alot of times, I just watch her actions and it's no need for verbal

  Everybody has demons or everybody has struggles, whatever you want to phrase it, but the bottom line is everyone has something or multiple things that they are going through. Last weekend at the movies, I saw A Haunting In Venice and the character playing the retired detective said something related to ghosts haunting people and revealing their secrets at the end of the movie and that statement stuck with me. Maybe I wrote a similar post like this but who cares, I'LL DO IT AGAIN!! Anyways, conjuring up demons might be easy, but it might not be so easy to stop the demons circling inside of people. People might not want those demons to stop growing inside of them either, those demons can create erosion over time if that's the case!!   I think I have demons in my life, but I also have angels in my life and those angels pour more into me than the demons do, thank God for that!! I have devilish tendencies, of course but since I want to gain a peaceful and graceful version of

I LOVE LIFE, and I'm not just saying that to say that, I LOVE IT even though I have ups and downs, I try to stay focused and be positive throughout life and I will continue to be positive and stay focused on the main goals/achievements in life and that equals to hopefully future  prosperity and financial prosperity. The main goals/achievements in life FOR ME is to remain humble, grateful and be patient with myself throughout life, maintain a solid relationship with family and friends, continue to travel and have a meaningful career/job path (in and outside of 9-5). In the midst of having those goals/achievements, I am enjoying life and there are a lot of enjoyable moments in my life and some particular moments that I really enjoy is when I recite my poetry.  When I recite my poetry on a stage, I feel there is no one that can touch me. There's just one mic, myself and my poetry. There is a lot on going on stage, the confidence on getting up on stage, eye contact with the audienc

I notice that some people who accept awards or give speeches say Keep God first and I can't help but think of how I keep or try to Keep God first in my life. I am a filthy creature with bad habits and the Lord knows this, HE KNOWS ALL!! But at the same time, I truly believe I'm a decent, honest and kind human being that happens to be filthy from time to time. Anyways, I pray, have a positive energetic vibe about me. I don't read my Bible all that much, that's the only task that I need to work on but for the most part, I try to Keep God first. I don't know what it ALL takes to Keep God first but I think I'm close to the border in regards of keeping God first OR in the middle of the Pacific Ocean , who knows, ONLY THE BIG GUY KNOWS. 

 We all judge, that's our human nature, well at least that's what my bio ethics teacher told me in my senior year of high school. What if it was possible for us not to judge? I don't know but what I do know is that I try not to judge. People have judged me in the past so why would I judge others for their actions, that's just the way I'm thinking. There are many scenarios and current events in this world that people judge upon and some acts need to be judged heavily. For example, those cops who shoot innocent Black and Brown women, men and children without just arrests and representation. The cops that do these heinous crimes/acts do need to be judged heavily. An example of groups that don't need to be judged heavily are the Asian American and the LGBTQ+ community. For those who are aligned and associate themselves with the LGBTQ+ should live their lives and they can spread their wings in any direction they want to in my personal opinion because that's thei

I want everybody to win in life, I don't have any malice against anyone. I like to breathe out negativity and breathe in positivity. I might have a few bumps in the road but who doesn't, am I right? This past open mic night at Negative Space Gallery, I read two poems but one poem that I want you guys to focus on is the first one, God gave me the Permission. Lately, I've been praying about breathing life and continued life into other people. I'm not like a genie obviously that will breathe mystical dust into faces of human beings but it would be great to put that positive energy and great fortune upon people. I know people get jealous of other people but this is America, it SHOULD have a piece of whatever pie you like for everyone and I'm putting an emphasis on the word should.      https://www.instagram.com/reel/CszaX2qg4ay/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

If anyone knows me, I'm an NBA fan for life but I wouldn't say I'm a die hard, posters on the wall fan but nonetheless, I enjoy me some b-ball. If you are a basketball fan, you would know that the finals are here to determine who's going to win the NBA championship and before that, they were playoffs to dwindle down the teams that will make the finals which are the Denver Nuggets and the Miami Heat. Before I go on, let me congratulate all of the teams who made it in the playoffs and in the finals. Personally, I want the Miami Heat to win the championship because I want Jimmy Butler to win a ring. He deserves a ring!! In the beginning of the playoffs, I wanted the Pheonix Suns to win the championship, but they got beat by the Denver Nuggets, oh well, they have next year, I guess,  (https://www.nba.com/news/2023-coaching-tracker ).  I want to take it back to when the Sacramento Kings were facing Golden State Warriors in that series and this particular incident was just si

 I can't speak for anybody except for myself when I say this, I try to be A GOOD PERSON each and everyday. When I wake up, I pray to God with a grateful mindset and try to live with that grateful plus positive mindset throughout the days and weeks. But, sometimes it works out but sometimes you want to choke motherfuckers out. I usually just think about it but never assault anybody (lol). I try to not hate anyone in life because when you hate, you are consumed with that hate and I want to surround myself with love. Honestly, I just hated two people in this lifetime but that's in the past so I'm over that shit now.      A few months back, I saw a movie entitled A GOOD PERSON starring Morgan Freeman and Florence Pugh. The synopsis in my own words is that a happy couple is enjoying life without any care in the world and suddenly, a horrific and painful incident happened and one's life is spinning out of control due to that painful incident and that individual is trying

It sucks when I put my emotions out there for a young lady/woman and I don't get the answer I want. But at the same time, even though I don't get the answers I want, I have to be proud that I stepped forward and exposed my vulnerability to these young ladies/women . A particular poem that I wrote and recited (Brown Sugar Baby) during an open mic at Negative Space in Cleveland, Ohio, I gave it to a young lady at the new job that I was working at. We both work in the same building but at different spots of the building. I work at a mom-and-pop restaurant and she comes in mostly everyday and I can only see her briefly but one day, I finally got up the courage to give the poem to her and I wrote a little note as well. I asked her if she could go out on a date with me. I couldn't speak, I was nervous as FUCK!! I think my heart skipped a beat. A couple days later, she told me that she had a boyfriend but she was nice about it, but that part didn't bring any less hurt. This i

 Today, I decided to go to Panera to get a bite and while I was eating, a man came up to me and asked me if I had a few dollars so he could get some food. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet and gave the man two bucks. The man left and I continued to eat. While I was continuing to eat, I was wondering if the man wanted some hot food instead of whatever that two bucks I gave him would get him. Finally, I asked him if he wanted some food, he said he would buy something with those two bucks I gave him but honestly, maybe you could just buy one bag of chips or an Arizona juice for a dollar. I was willing to buy him some hot food for him, but he said no. I asked the man if he wanted some food because if I was in a similar situation, I would want somebody to ask me if I wanted some hot food. I didn't have a lot of money to begin with, but I could spare an extra ten or twenty bucks for him. If the man did say yes in regards of wanting some food, I wouldn't even trip

 I know life gets troublesome from time to time but we have to remember that you never know what's around the corner. Life is crazy and some situations you can't control and not controlling outcomes can be problematic. But on the other side of the coin, life is precious and beautiful. Life isn't a straight line, life can be a curve line or a squiggly line but regardless of what line life might bring you, DO NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL!! Trust me, I know.  I saw the first two Creed movies starring Michael B. Jordan and Wood Harris a couple of nights ago because I want to see the third one this upcoming week, so I won't get lost in the storyline. Adonis Creed played by Jordan faced and is still facing adversity in the ring and out of the ring. Now, he could've thrown the towel in a long time ago, but he didn't, he kept fighting opponents and he won and will keep winning. Another perceptive we have to adapt is to have a positive outlook on life even if life seems bleak

Overall, what is there more to say? Blacks or the politically correct term African Americans, SHOULD get the same civil liberties as our counterparts, the whites or Caucasians but we don't and that's so, so unfortunate. You see this shit on the news, why do a lot of police have to pull us over and after they pull us over, we get shot and killed and in the midst of all of this, they are dehumanizing us. Why can't they just us arrest us and take us to trial rather than kill us? I hate to say this but there's a domino effect happening in this country and the target is Black people and people of color.  Hopefully, you guys have seen the latest development in the news. I'm talking about Tyre Nichols if some people didn't know. I think there are several points that you can talk about in this case, but I want to talk about the lack of moral compass the officers obviously had when they attacked Tyre. The police are supposed to protect and serve but they are actually hi

 Lately, I developed an ideology or comfortability to not say fuck you to people when I get into serious arguments. Honestly, I haven't really said fuck you in arguments, but I have thought about it, but my thinking is that God made everybody on this earth and if you say fuck you in arguments that means you are slapping God in the face. I'm sticking to my guns when I say God made everybody on this earth because this is my belief and you guys can believe what you want to believe. Anyways, I believe you can say fuck you in playful ways as well. For example, if you are with your buds, having a light conversation about which girl is most attractive in high school and one guy says one girl is more attractive than another girl and one of the other guys disagrees and he says fuck you, no she's not and that's ok. I have to get my mind right and if I don't get my mind all the way right, let me get my mind partially right along my wellness journey (lol). I just wanted to shar

Happy 30th birthday to me!! I know it's after midnight but shit, let my birthday be extended til Martin Luther Jr. King Day. But on a serious note, I thank God for another year on His green planet. I thought about what I want to accomplish long and short term within myself. What came to mind was to grow and prosper continually without ceasing. Of course, I'm going to make some mistakes through the process of growing and prospering (I'm not talking about money) but that's just life.  Also, I want to continue to be patient with myself and hopefully others around me can be patient with me as well. For my professional life, I want to do some more background acting. that shit is fun!! I'm going to continue to read poetry and stories from different authors/poets to continue to develop my OWN writing style. In conclusion, all of this is about me developing and/or continuing a journey within myself and in the outside world.  ⟵ My dad's face: I can't believe I have

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! I don't make new year's resolutions because I don't keep the promises that I make myself. Since I don't have resolutions, I have new insights that I want to discover and explore whether it's on a big or small scale. For example, on a small scale, I was in a grocery store during the 2022 holiday season, I picked up some flavored water that I haven't noticed so I decided to buy the drink which is called Shine Water  ( https://www.shinewater.com/ )   and I fancy the taste. On the big scale, in 2022 I discovered within myself when everything was said and done, I should've controlled my emotions better dealing with my previous employer. I also discovered in 2022, I have to say NO sometimes dealing with my previous employer (shoutout to the co-worker who told me that) because I used to stay longer than my shift requires because the upper management needed people.  In 2023, I'm going to continue to discover and explore within myself,