Embarrassing moments that I laugh at

 1) I was at the Root Café one night  for open mic night and I was hungry. So I decided to to order a burrito which was vegan. It was great going in but coming out was a different story!! I'm not discrediting the Café because they have some great almond cookies, I'm just not used to vegan foods. Anyways back to the story, the Café was about to close but I needed somewhere to go to the bathroom because of that dang vegan burrito so I went to the Family Dollar across the street. I was rushing to that bathroom like a hot potato. I was so excited to reach that bathroom. When I was still at the Root Café, some droppings came out onto my underwear. At Family Dollar I used some toilet paper and then some, no wonder the toilet wasn't flushing. Then I told one of the workers that the toilet was clogged up. I had to take the bus home and all of the way home, I was thinking of my wet underwear and smell. Now I think about it, I'm pretty sure the bus smells and my smell matched that night. WHAT A NIGHT!!

2)   A few months ago I was in Jacksonville, Florida visiting a friend and after visiting my friend I went to Wacko's Gentlemen's Club. I suggest You order the wontons, they are REALLY REALLY good!! Anyways it seemed like the lights in the champagne room got dimmer and dimmer each time I got a lap dance. Now I know how to count money and the money was visible to me but it was harder and harder to see. After this particular lap dance I was counting the money to give to the dancer and I was still having trouble on seeing.  I rolled up some money in my pocket and I was about to count it and then immediately the dancer was grabbing the money but I held that money with a strong grip. I said No bae!! I finally gave her the right amount of money. I must've been drinking a lot that night because the lights were getting dimmer and dimmer. Next time, I'll come prepared, I will put paper clips on my money and then it won't be any confusion. Overall I would rate the gentlemen's club 9/10. 

My sister told me a while back, don't be so serious all of the time and that stuck me so these are a couple embarrassing moments that I just had to laugh at in present day. To all of the comedians out there, I'm pretty sure that you guys are laughing hysterically in your homes saying this is comedy gold right here but don't get any ideas, if you guys steal any of this shit in this post, I'm going to suck the money out of you, SUCKA!! I'm just kidding, I don't have any money. Have a good night  

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