Hard to Pinpoint

 I had disabilities all of my life, Ocular Motor Apraxia when I was younger and Joubert Syndrome was discovered by my neurologist at the age of fourteen. This will be hard to pinpoint but throughout my life, I always was concerned about if people were genuinely laughing at my jokes (I can be a comedian at work, LOL), because they were funny or because of my disability. For example, I was working at Crowne Plaza and I was telling a joke and my co worker laughed her ass off to the point she fell to the ground. I told my other co worker, it wasn't that funny. That moment I wondered if she was being genuine on her laughter  or being super fake in that awkwardness because I have a disability, she just didn't know how to deal. Another example is when people say that I'm so sweet and the motherfuckers only spent two minutes with me. I hope they are genuinely nice but don't be fake nice to me since I have a disability. I don't know, this is how I felt and still sometimes feel. I try to not worry about what other people think of me but at this point, it is what it is but at the same time I want to know what the deal is, you know?


https://aapos.org/glossary/oculomotor-apraxia 

https://jsrdf.org/

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