WE ALL MATTER! /Develop positive habits in Your Life

Since I experienced this and it's highlighted this month, I think I should speak about this and what I'm talking about is suicide prevention. Shout out to the people who are bringing awareness to this topic, its such a complex issue that shouldn't be happening, but suicide is unfortunately rapidly growing. My experience is that I contemplated suicide in the past, others have past by committing suicide including my friend, Joseph Wain a few years ago. I had a fond memory of him. The memory was when him, me, his brother and his mother went to the Lake Erie Crushers game one night. I was and still not obsessed with baseball but that day, I had a great time. We all sat on a red blanket to watch the game. My other friend told me the news, I shed a few tears. To say I was devastated, that would've been an understatement. We all have sad moments, and I think the key is to get out of those sad moments somehow, through your spiritual leader, your family, yourself, your friends or/and school counselor/therapist and get to your pot of gold (pot of happiness). I know all days aren't going to be unicorns and rainbows but figure out a formula for Your happiness because everybody's happiness is different.  I found my happiness through God, family and friends. I was raised in church, but I wasn't really engaged until my mother recited a scripture from the Bible to me which was Philippians 4:13 which states I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Then I prayed to God and then gradually things changed for me such as making friends and embracing my disability (Joubert Syndrome) rather than masking it. The first time I told my parents about me contemplating suicide was when I was a junior in college. The walls were thin so I turned on the shower so nobody could hear. I was hesitant to share this with my parents because I didn't know what their reactions were going to be, but their reactions were loving and supportive. 
    By saying that, everybody matters in this world because everybody has purpose and a gift in this world and I don't know the reasons that people commit suicide but regardless, EVERYBODY IN THE UNIVERSE HAS A SPECIAL UNIQUENESS TO THEM and if somebody or multiple people try to discourage you from being you, FUCK THEM!! In regards to myself, I don't think the dark space doesn't ever go away, I can develop positive habits to prevent the dark space to cloud my entire life. When I was younger, my dark thoughts would be uncontrollable but now, I can control the circumstances.  Focusing on the positive rather than the negative would be an excellent route to go. Trust me, I've been focusing on the negative a portion of my life and IT DEFINITELY SUCKS!! I highly don't recommend it. Also, for me it's about having a positive mindset and outlook on life. I was so negative and one day I said to myself, try to be positive Noldon and that positivity stayed with me. Fast forwarding to now, I try to live one day at a time and stay in the present and try to not worry about the future. God sees me, God hears me and God touches me everyday. NEVER GIVE UP PEOPLE!

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