Chilling in my feelings

Sometimes I want to chill with my own thoughts. I often reflect on my triumphs, setbacks and mistakes. I try to not regret anything, I just tell myself that I should've maneuvered in different ways. I promised myself that I wouldn't live in the past unless I reflect on how far I've come in life. I also don't want to relive the past because I had dark thoughts sometimes and I refuse to go back unless I look back on how far I've came like I said before. When I reflect, it can just look like me sitting on my couch in deep thought or the reflection can just come out of nowhere like when I go to a cafe and I think of a thought and that thought comes with many thoughts so in conclusion, deep thought. Maybe I'm mixing up reflection with getting into my emotions. Also, I could reflect on getting into my emotions. I don't know, I'm just rambling now, but I think this rambling makes sense. 

   In regards of getting into my emotions, I don't feel like it's a bad thing. I feel getting into my emotions can be beneficial sometimes because I can vulnerable and be truthful. And hopefully, that certain individual that I want to pursue can reciprocate that vulnerability and truthfulness and not be on bullshit but that's wishful thinking sometimes. I've had interest in many women, and I will have many interests in women in the future and believe it or not, most of them have complicated combinations to crack. A while ago, my friend asked about my relationships, and I responded like lack thereof and I gave him a metaphor and the metaphor was, if you throw mash potatoes on the wall, most of those potatoes fall off (LOL). I know I'm laughing at my own pain but truthfully, if women really fuck with me, they won't feel unloved at any moment. When I tell women how I feel or just want to vibe with them, I just fall deep (being truthful and vulnerable at the highest way) and what I say to them, I don't want them to take it with a grain of salt, I want them to take what I say seriously and with multiple pounds of salt. At the same time, frequencies have to match up or semi matchup and when they don't, that's when there is a disconnect. Back to what I say to women, I'm not going to apologize to what I say because at the end of the day, I'm going to be honest and truthful to these women. I truly believe that women should be preserved like an art piece in a museum, you can look and maybe touch with permission. Hopefully, you guys can relate to what I'm talking about. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Just Do It

Image
This past Saturday, I went to a local bar called the Winchester on the west side of Cleveland. My boss is in a band and the band was playing that night. I like to support people even if that art form is new to me . Me seeing the band was exciting, also it was another big happening that night. I asked if the bartender if she had a boyfriend and unfortunately, she said yes. If she said no, I would have been jumping for joy and after jumping for joy, I would 've then asked her if she wanted to go out on a date and then we skip down the yellow brick road oh so lovely. I was hella sad and what even made me more sad was when she turned on some sad country music. I told myself let me get my ass out of here (LOL). I had a lot of drinks that night because I was celebrating my boss's band performing live for the first time since the stone ages (lol), but for a very long time. Anyways, I had hella drinks that night but thank God I mellowed out by the time I asked her. Imagine if I was ...
Read more

Appreciate the little so you can appreciate the BIG

 During the span of the election, I was canvassing. If people don't know what canvassing is , it's just knocking on people's doors and for this particular canvassing it was for the past election. But in the midst of the canvassing, I got four dollars more on my paycheck than the previous paycheck and I was grateful. Other people might say it's just four dollars, but my employer didn't have to do that. That gesture was little but I was very grateful for that increase, how big or small it was. I would say I was always a grateful Indvidual but now since I'm older and gained a bit more wiser, I would say that I cherish the things that make me whole that aren't always monetary.     Also, I got a bonus of twenty five dollars after the job was over. I was jokingly asking for a bonus; I didn't expect to receive a bonus. This made me think of another thought and the thought is being humble. You never know what being humble and appreciative will get you. I'm n...
Read more

Stay the course

 For the past couple months, I have been experiencing a sense of crossroads in my life. Even though I haven't lived All of my life, it seemed like I was cycling through this constant of uncertainty. I wouldn't call it a midlife crisis, I would say it a younglife crises (lol). Even though that joke was funny in my opinion, I'm being serious! ! For example, I really like my job currently, but I've been there for two years and I want a challenge, a challenge that will be more financially sound. I know money isn't everything but here are the facts: I'm a thirty-year-old man and I want my life to be secured financially when I want to retire.      So, I prayed and I'm continuing to pray and its getting better. In my earlier posts, I said praying centers me and gives me a fresh perspective and praying still gives me that sense of secureness that the Lord has me. I have to stay the course because if I don't stay the course I will keep cycling that uncertainty. ...
Read more